::love, let me sleep tonight on your couch::

eyeshinethru @ 2005-03-05T20:51:00

2005-03-06T04:51:53Z

I'm back.

india india india

2004-12-19T23:48:20Z

In only 9 more days will I be on the plane to India.
This is all that I can think about now.
For a whole month!

I am a little bit scared about the culture shock when I return.
I am going to feel like a big huge elephant moving really, really slow,
in a culture that moves really, really fast.
I bet I will have to hide under my covers for a while,
in order to get used to home again.

I bet I'll forget how to flush a toilet,
and where in the bathroom the towels are.

mm hmm.

swoosh!

2004-12-17T05:37:53Z

I'm tired of this.
Let's start over and meet again, as though we never met before.

Finals are over, and my religion paper is finished. I am so incredibly relieved.
All I want to do now is sit like a vegetable.
But I can not do that for long.
Because first of all, I have to finish my treacherous college applications.
And second of all, because I AM GOING TO INDIA in 11 days.

I am so excited.
I will be there for a month, and I get to eat indian food the whole time.

I miss everyone. I have hated not seeing you...
at shows.

much love,
I hope to see you all someday again, hopefully soon.

-M

eyeshinethru @ 2004-01-14T20:53:00

2004-01-15T05:22:05Z

fuck you and whatever your plans are,
what the hell do you think you're doing?
this is not how it works,

ok so what is this
a fucking joke
this is so easy for you.

Must I dream and always see your face
Why can't we overcome this wall
Well, maybe it's just because i didn't know you at all.

-Jeff Buckley

that was sorry.

eyeshinethru @ 2004-01-10T12:20:00

2004-01-10T20:26:53Z

i'm excited.
i actually feel like my life is going somewhere.
wow, i haven't felt this for a very long time.

i'm excited because i know amazing people,
who are so incredibly supportive.

i am also excited because i get to eat a salad soon
which is going to be good,
because i'm making it myself
(spinach, mmm!).

i recorded a song late into the night (last night).
we had candles,
and it was all moody and shit like on TV.

life takes unexpected twists and turns.
who knows,
tomorrow i might feel like shit,
but at least i have today.
this is a good day.
saturday.
good day saturday.

eyeshinethru @ 2003-11-15T22:55:00

2003-11-16T06:56:14Z

i need to visit the fucking Wizard of Oz.

eyeshinethru @ 2003-11-11T15:09:00

2003-11-11T23:11:56Z

<3
<3
<3
i love my friends so much,
it practically breaks my heart.
i just need to let you guys know how much you mean to me.
<3
<3
<3
love, maia

dear you,

2003-10-29T04:16:43Z

i wish i could read your mind,
because truthfully, i can't tell.

<3 maia

eyeshinethru @ 2003-10-21T17:15:00

2003-10-22T00:16:08Z

.
.
.
.
.
i'm a fuck-up.
.
.
.
.
.

eyeshinethru @ 2003-09-27T17:24:00

2003-09-28T00:25:03Z

.raar.

</3

eyeshinethru @ 2003-07-17T10:45:00

2003-07-17T17:50:35Z

what am i supposed to be doing now,
with my life.
i don't know what to live for anymore.
i'm so upset with all this shit that's going on,
i don't know who to trust,
or what to think.

i'm not going to be able to change anything by just sitting around,
thinking about it.

it's all about expressing yourself and what you stand for,
but that's hard for me.
i need to get so much stuff out,
but who's going to listen.
seriously,
who on earth is going to want to listen to me?

when is this teacher going to come.
you said he would,
i need him sooner than i thought.

The Dead Letters Society

2003-07-16T00:27:18Z

Attention All:

David radio_takeover and I are starting a letter writing society.

if you would like to join,
just write us a letter.
that's all you have to do and then you're in.

im us.
maia= boy sits pretty
or
david= xmorethandeathx

we'll give you the information on where to send it.
let's get this crew rollin'.

sincerely,
Maia

eyeshinethru @ 2003-07-13T20:04:00

2003-07-14T05:38:17Z

tonight is the full moon,
perfect for night adventures and howling.

i take this walk and realize,
there are so many of you.
we cannot conform to the normalcy of this world,
because this is what they want us to do.
we have only lived a fraction of our lives,
to think of the teachers, the friends, the lovers of the future,
it comforts me.
what we really need is to slow down.

omnia vincet amor

when the going gets tough

2003-07-12T20:32:28Z

what can i say,
i'm sorry.

Dear Lila,
i'm sorry.
i'm sorry for being such a bad friend.
i never call you back.
i never have anything to say anymore.
i don't tell you about my life,
because i don't know what to say about it.
you're disapointed in me and i'm sorry.
i know you're a dancer,
i know dancers need to do what you do.
but it's hard for me.
i'll try to change,
but then when you make me cry you say your sorry,
and that i shouldn't let other people win over me.
you say that i shouldn't be what people say i am,
when they're mad at me.
i'm sorry lila,
i love you.

Dear Sean,
i am sorry.
i'm sorry that what's going on, is going on.
i don't want to fight with you.
you are my friend,
and i care for you with all my heart.
i am sorry.

to all, please forgive me.
i'm trying my hardest to be the best i can be.

from the everloving,
maia

big monster lover

2003-07-10T05:31:24Z

totoro
pink robots
rocket
be my lover, baby
battle pink robots
.omnia vincet amor.

i'm going shopping tomorrow.
here's what's on my list so far:

-glue for hot glue gun
-pink, black, and cream acrylic paint
-sewing needles
-stensils (letters & designs)
-paint pens
-cloth flowers

i'm putting some secrets in my garden.
hopefully, someone will find them (totoro & friends).

i'd like to know more.
i want to have intimate and meaningful conversations.
i'd like to hold hands,
and smile.

.i'd cherish this kiss.

eyeshinethru @ 2003-07-01T23:43:00

2003-07-02T06:56:45Z

.finally.

i'm getting my retainers off tomorrow.
woo.
i was going to say that now i can kiss all the goddamn boys i like,
but that's really stupid.

i'm free,
my mouth is free,
come kiss me.

this is messed up.
how could he do this.
i'm hurting like you wouldn't believe.

eyeshinethru @ 2003-06-27T23:19:00

2003-06-28T06:31:00Z

i am so disapointed.
this is really fucked up.
everything builds too high,
only to come crashing down...

when are we going to grow up,
to realize that keeping our pride doesn't matter as much as we think it does.
when are we going to think about other people before ourselves,
to think of other people's heads and hearts.
come on,
let's keep the peace.

i would do almost anything for my friends.
i would do almost anything for their happiness, well being.

.i would disappear.

i'm not taking sides,
because i know how to open my head and see both sides.
i only wish we all could do that.

i am so disapointed.
please,
because i love you.

p.s. i'm sick of searching.

black eyed swans

2003-06-24T05:59:52Z

i wonder if anything will become of this,
of us.
there's so much that goes against the things we want,
the things we need.
it's as if the day we came into this world
our boundaries were already drawn out before we even developed into individuals.

we can either chose to leave some aching heads and broken hearts
or respect the laws, and abide by the rules.

it is our choice, but is there a right choice...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

i had a wonderful day.
thank you for your presence, and your kindness.
you will be missed when you go home.

what am i supposed to do when i've got you on my mind

2003-06-21T22:44:24Z

<3
<3
<3

i love my friends so much.
yes that includes you.

<3
<3
<3

try to fix these famous last words

2003-06-20T04:18:54Z

i've been so confused.
all day wishing for some kind of contact.
like sitting, staring at the computer is going to fix that

(thank you to sage for calling,
it was wonderful to hear someone's voice).

i always put this energy into getting excited about stuff i want to do,
or say i'm going to do.
and then i realize it might never happen.

i feel like i'm the only one.

staring at the door,
expecting you to walk right in.
it all fills up only to come crashing down
to the disapointment of realizing
you're not even in my town.

XMRCCX

this feeling is starting to come back...

2003-06-17T19:29:24Z

for some reason,
this morning i woke up really sad.

i think there's an explanation.
it just seems like i can't really do anything about it.

yeah.

ok.

shut up.

it's times like these i could use your company.

2003-06-16T02:41:43Z

maybe this time it will be different,
who knows.
there's no use getting down about it,
really.

i kind of feel like i've gotten myself into a trap,
and there's really no way out of it.

today was spent with sarah.
i finally bought a poster i've been wanting for like a year.
she said she was proud of me, which made me feel better.
i am not a good shopper.

i took the bus home, and fell asleep on it.
when i got to ventura,
i went behind the thrift stores where they throw stuff away.
i got some pants,
and this old man gave me a pretty flower that smelled nice.

our days should be spent together.

i've got this one chance, don't blow away

2003-06-15T06:25:37Z

russ.
sean.
stew.
thanks for this day.

next time we'll try to find some mini racers,
some candy ciggs,
and be cool.

sorry for being so mellow.

i'll just fade into you

2003-06-14T06:07:14Z

thursday:
i hung out with the lovely whitney
(i'm still sorry i missed your graduation).
then sean's graduation party.
i got to be with super people,
and race cars.
then to sarah's where we watched movies and slept.

friday:
chillin with chad and sage and dylan and his friend whose name i can't remember.
skating all over ventura,
then to ventura theater, where we saw paul, dana, mark, big dan.

i thought i was going to hang out with chris,
but i guess that didn't really work.
there's always another day.
i hope the show went well.

-----------------

thank you, for being so supportive,
and for showing me so much love.

you're still not free from my gaze

2003-06-11T22:11:52Z

i'm sitting here,
with whitney asleep on my bed.

my room is clean,
and i feel refreshed.
this is a wonderful afternoon.
the sun is beginning to shine.

please join me.